10 Apr Black Friday Reflection : COVID-19 and Parenting

Pandemic. A word that conjures … contagion…illness…hopelessness. And the operative word is “conjure”. What we conjure in our minds will be our reality.

Before I start, this is written not to minimize the pain of this period, but to put things in perspective and propose a hope-filled, action-oriented paradigm.

What are the fears we are facing these days:

1. Fear of illness and death
2. Fear of unemployment / slowing down of our businesses
3. Fear of boredom
4. Fear of being confined with one’s spouse =p (THIS is beyond the scope of this article.)
5. Recently, more pronounced fear of rioting and looting

A friend remarked, “It is refreshing that you are not afraid. It is usually the mothers who fear the most.” It seems counterintuitive. The reality is our children absorb our emotions unconsciously. How well we are is how well they will be.

In the same way, there needs to be a more conscious awareness about COVID-19.

1. The mortality rate is around 2%. (Varies accdg to country)
2. People die every day and more people were claimed by cancer, malaria, etc than COVID-19 In the first 2 months of 2020.( COVID-19 deaths: 2,360. Smoking: 716,498. Cancer: 1,177,141. Source: University of Hamburg Data. ) As of April 10,2020, COVID 19 deaths are 95,738.
3. Death is part of life. Illness and health are seasons.
4. COVID-19 is here to stay. Accept it. We are merely slowing down the spread through quarantine.
5. Fear and anger, above everything, suppresses the immune system.
6. And despite all the hourly updates, there is really only one thing we can do: STAY STRONG.

How do we stay strong? It is still the basics.

1. Drink ginger tea, take vitamin C, sun, exercise every day. Ginger tea is warming, supports the immune system, helps the body ward off germs. If one needs something stronger, add turmeric, black pepper, calamansi, garlic, oregano etc.
2. Stay joyful. Focus on the good things. Now is a unique time when we are forced to be on a daily retreat! We can have the silence, the rest, the me-time that many truly need. The opportunity for bonding with our family, for self-reflection and even self-learning (we still have internet) is unprecedented in this lifetime. Use it!
3. Laughter is still the best medicine.
4. Raise our energy through uplifting modalities such as drumming, listening to solfeggio frequencies, singing bowl , yoga, meditation, prayer, etc
5. Toys, books, cooking, dancing, fixing things around the house, needlework, paint, crafts, brewing beer or coffee, magic, genealogy, learn a new language, learn about investing, scrapbooking, vlogging, invent, plant herbs. Virtually everything is PLAY when we do it with zest and curiosity. Grownups also need to play!How do we maintain a strong community? We are all interconnected as the virus has so visually shown.

1. Share what we have. Villages’ security teams are retraining for rioting and looting. The best prevention is when nobody gets hungry. Barangays are already dispensing social amelioration programs. But individuals can also play a major part by taking care of the people under their employ. For as long as possible, try to give allowance to staff even though they can’t come to work. And consider it as donation or tithing. I have also seen a car dispensing food and there was a short, orderly line of people waiting patiently by the car to receive. Attached to the window is a sign, “We are not the government. We only want to help.”
2. We don’t need a lot to live on. A friend has family driver who budgets for milk formula for his 1 yr old. Milk formula is unnecessary for nutrition. Breastmilk and ordinary food are sufficient. Without the budget for milk formula which runs to at least 4,000 pesos a month, she can give an appropriate monthly allowance to the driver for several months.

With the decreased activity, we also don’t need to eat 3x a day. Our own household now eats 2x a day without any conscious effort. It is even better for the body as this gives our bodies a longer time to “rest” from not having to digest food. This is called “self-eating”, eating up of the old cells in our body, leading to a younger body.

With the awareness that we still have everything we need to live, there is less reason to worry.

This is a time for looking inward and looking outward. A season for revisiting the home and its simple pleasures. And also to get out of our own heads and make a conscious effort to en-courage those around us.

Our children are looking at us as we deal with this season. COVID-19 is here. There is pain. But we do not need to suffer. Black Friday always gives way to Easter!

How is your family making the most of this down time? Do share!