13 Jun Are There Really Toys for Boys and Toys for Girls?

Yesterday, a customer asked me for recommendations for toys for her daughter. This is a common question and salespeople at toy stores will always ask two things, age and gender. It makes it easier to recommend a toy. But while age is an important factor in choosing an appropriate toy, gender is not always. There are boys and there are girls. BUT TOYS HAVE NO GENDER.

I’m not saying that boys or girls don’t prefer to play with certain toys. There IS a natural preference for boys to play with cars and trucks and girls to play with dolls and tea sets. With my 2 boys, although I did not censor their toys, I noticed they gravitated toward “boy toys” such as blocks and vehicles. I even intentionally gave them stuffed bears which they played with a bit then soon cast aside and just became a decoration in our sofa.

It is good to delight in the form that nature has given us and this natural preference of boys for “boy toys” and girls for “girl toys” allows them to practice the skills they need as men and women. Men go out into the world and build skyscrapers and operate heavy machinery and wooden blocks and toy vehicles are precursors to this skill. Most women will be called to be mothers and the nurturing aspect of playing house will prove useful.

HOWEVER, boys also delight in kitchen toys and dollhouses. And girls also love science and engineering toys like WONDERWORLD Trix Track.

As parents, we don’t need to make this choice for them and unwittingly limit their experience if we do. Let them choose their own toys without the dampening “that’s for girls” or “that’s for boys” comment.  And if they are still too young to choose, let’s provide them with a variety of toys.

This recommendation is science-based and energy-based. In all of us are both masculine and feminine qualities. Yin and Yang. Shiva and Shakti. Both these concepts point to a cosmic duality, sets of two opposing yet complementing principles that can be observed in nature. Yang is masculine, active, sun, expansion. Yin is feminine, rest, moon, contraction. In Indian philosophy,  Shiva energy is steadfast, stable, peaceful, strong and totally unmoved with complete presence. Shakti is beautiful, flowing, powerfully flexible. Yin and yang, Shiva and Shakti make possible the dynamic interplay of energies, resulting in a powerful,well rounded individual.

This principle of cosmic duality is so important that they are an essential part of Huangdi Neijing or Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Medicine. Written about 2,000 years ago, it is the earliest Chinese medical book. It is believed that to be healthy, one needs to balance the yin and yang forces within one’s own body.

Going back to toys, we know that what our children play with today gives them a greater idea of the vast world they inhabit and their role in it. In recent decades, there has been widespread attempts to do away with the rigid concepts of masculine and feminine in the past and perhaps swinging to the opposite direction with the woke movement where the distinction between male and female is diminished with the man almost castrated and the woman being shown as no longer needing a man. I believe this is not doing our boys and girls a favor.

Have you noticed that while before, we had Prince Charming as a role model for boys, it’s difficult for growing boys today to see role models that develop their natural instinct towards leadership in the family. Most men are still the providers and protectors of their family, but our boys now aren’t seeing this in the shows they watch. Strong female characters such as Elsa and Anna, Brave, abound and the male characters are shoved into a supporting role. (And have you noticed that these female characters all have no children yet? Once they start having children, guess who these women will need?) The Prince Charming model may be fraught with its own issues such as encouraging excessive female dependence on a man but Prince Charming at least offered bravery, protection, care and proof of strength for his future family.

Since time immemorial, there has always been a BALANCE. Making available a variety of toys to our boys and girls that give expression to both their masculine and feminine energies and devoting 75% to toys for their gender that they will naturally gravitate towards anyway allows them to grow up with the best of male and female qualities, brave yet prudent, incorrigible yet sweet, strong yet flexible, resolute yet playful.

What have YOU observed with your kids’ gender and their favorite toys?